Sunday, June 6, 2010

the trickling sand





You entered my world, all shiny and new, unblemished and untouched, with lines that were clear, had a silvery edge, smooth as a silhouette. I treasured your being, I played with you, you gave me thrills intense, that each time I saw you my heart seemed to swell, so strong, I was left without breath.

With the passage of time marked by trickling sand, I spotted a blemish, a scar. Distaste filled my mouth, erasing my smile, all the while disappointment grew. And my thoughts turned to sludge in a mud that was thick with resentment, and anger and shame. I simmered in jealousy, cold and raw, for the ones who were flawless out there.

I tried to protect you and shield you from harm, yet the scratches appeared unseen. And each time I saw you your wounds blinded me, as I looked at these damaged goods. Aggrieved as I was, I let these emotions take hold and transferred them to you. I felt my mind shift as I shut you out, while I used, but did not value you.

‘til there came a day I recounted the tale of how we came to be and there was a rumble, the earth seemed to shift, as awareness new flashed through me. These scars don’t diminish, they do not reduce, the worth that is in you. You are not less than you were before just because you have come through the war... these lines are the marks, that you've loved and lost, of the milestones along your way. I see you now with eyes brand new, and you've grown in value to me.







39 comments:

  1. Wow! All I sense is that through it all, devotion was throughout. Blessings to you Shadow.

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  2. smiles. that was beautiful...for so many the sacrs can be debilitating..to see beyond that and to let them know makes all the difference in teh world...

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  3. It takes long... the way to get to accept
    Great work Shadow

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  4. Wow!
    You're priceless.
    They say the value of a work of art is often enhanced by it's flaw.

    Jim

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  5. Shadow Dancing, is this about your car?

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  6. In all honesty, I don't know what to say. Your text was so magnificent, so true and so filled with life that it left me.... speechless.
    You are amazing, Shadow. :)

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  7. Beautiful, Shadow. You've captured a universal journey.

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  8. What a flow of gorgeous feeling, Shadow!

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  9. Zeroing in on the blemish makes it look bigger doesn't it? Makes it so important. going through the changes in a relationship is like traveling and at the end of the trip we come home with new appreciation for home.

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  10. I used to have an automobile I felt that way about.

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  11. Hindsight brings learning as a gift...

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  12. beautifully felt and said, shadow!!!

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  13. This sounds very familiar to real life situations....here's hoping we all come out with an ending as beautiful as this one. :)

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  14. Tales of true growth. This is a beautiful post. Acceptance comes with no great ease.

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  15. Sounds like my story. We put people on a pedestal and how fast they fall when we realize the real them. And our resentment builds towards them...towards ourselves.

    Lovely and deep as always. Wish I had more time, I have missed reading your poems.

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  16. This is awesome...I can't help but think it's the writer that you're writing about. Either case, it's too awesome.

    I'm sure happy to see you composing prose for us once again. If not for yourself!!!

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  17. Scars tell a story to those with the eyes to hear them. Yes, eyes can hear if we but see beneath the surface.

    If we "Sherlock" the face, the body facing us. Do we mind our surroundings or do our surroundings mind our thoughts, herding them by the blemishes that jar us?

    Yours is a lovely, thought-provoking post. May your life be enriched this week by a mind that is aware. Roland

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  18. fresh eyes make a big difference where love is concerned...

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  19. Hey Shadow, in case you didn't get my e-mail, this is what my wife said about Dennis's "neepads":

    http://webpages.charter.net/dhfm/ZControl.html

    The company took a long time to process our order. We made several follow up phone calls before receiving it. Don't know if orders are being sent out in a more timely fashion now.

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  20. this tells such a long and painful story, with many levels and images.

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  21. This was beautiful. It brought back memories of someone I used to know, so this hit home hard for me. Thanks for sharing, Shadow.

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  22. shadow you had faith, and then were backed into a corner while I whittled away 24/7 at your faith without help from others because it seemed they had warned you about putting faith into people like me.

    the world needs people like you

    I just have to leave before I WRONGLY imply Mac and cheese again or wrongly imply anyone for that matter. I play right into the puppet masters hands.

    If I don’t leave the whole world is going to be divided/split and pitted against their own family members and never trusting anybody just like me.

    I don’t want to be responsible for shaping anybodies world but my own. so thank you. I ‘ll talk to you another time.

    But I will not let your faith let you down. All your words I still have for you, they are not deleted, just taken down. Everything that was positive and shadow inspired still belongs to you.

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  23. Very interesting prose, Shadow. The descriptions left my mouth open and made me want to pull out more books of poetry off my shelves to try to somehow grasp the powerfulness of just a few simple words.

    Awesome post and write on for you have a gift in the art of the word!

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  24. Its interesting isn't it Shadow.....how we put others on 'pedastals' we aspire to...though we see ourselves as less.....and all the while we expect them to live up to our image without wondering if we are living up to their's. Then we reduce, destroy, and scatter the remains much like a death ritual when they stumble in their humanity....oft forgetting it was our fondest wish to see them fall.....so we could equivocate and become their rescuer. What a load of 'rennaisance crap' our romantic notions are. They do such damage to our abilities to reconcile.

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  25. Excellent! Acceptance is a lond stony road, but done it turns triggers into treasures. BTW, there is a saying: turn scars into stars. Love form heart to yours.

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  26. I thought at first that you were writing about your old bike!

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  27. Would you send me an email one of these days with an update on yourself my friend? I am curious.

    You are a gifted writer Shadow ;)

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  28. Gosh, I have always admired (well, more than "admired"--grin) blemishes and scars, I guess as beauty marks.

    I see that line, "Simmered in jealousy" and then, "the earth rumbled, shifted...." And..."nothing could change the worth which is in you, the value of the human heart..."

    I come to realizations also, finally to see beyond, to envision beneath, to experience the soul...of another. What a place like heaven to be.

    Shadow, I love your work.

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  29. Wonderful!. Love your written work
    Linda

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  30. I know I'm reading this a little late, but WOW - better a little late than never. This touched me in a special way.

    When I can look beyond the obvious, deep below the surface of things, I can find God who is love there.

    PG

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  31. you leave the good kind of scras on my heart....

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  32. Interesting and beautifully told. I know all too well about such topics. I am glad I came by this and read you.

    Peace to you!

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  33. Just checking in again. Some posts touch me in such a way that I have to visit again. Yours is one of those. Roland

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  34. I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE this I have sat and re-read it three times...this is amazing and thank you!!!!
    g

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  35. How soon the new becomes old! The paint a little faded, the light covers crackled, the seats a little grubby and creased, the engine noisy, the road bumpier. Ah well, there's always the 370Z!
    Blessings, Star

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  36. Shadow, this says so much to me. I too have picked apart others for their flaws, judging them. I realize that we all have shortcoming, scars, and flaws. Now I am glad to recognize a fellow traveler who is on the path to self-discovery.

    I wish that my friend who killed herself recently could have seen that the scars didn't define who she was to others.

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  37. That's totally awesum thoughts...
    dose brand new eyes are really d need of hour for seeing how notably different d world is dats seen with the thin film on naked eyes.....

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