Monday, October 11, 2010

Release me from this dream






I stand on the grounds of a once beautiful home,
under skies with the muted light
of a windy, cloudy, dust-filled sky
chasing an early dusk.
This home feels abandoned, neglected and ignored,
dry dust where once luscious lawns grew.
And I hear a cry, a lonely whimper,
from a dog confined somewhere.
I walk the cracked paving where weeds have drawn
a chaotic pattern through the crevices,
to enter a door, the metal frame coloured with rust,
into a room with the curtains drawn.
Stale and musty is the air, thick and filled with dust,
the colours a pale, indistinguishable shade of brown,
their life long lost in time.

I hastily leave and now drive down darkened streets,
and as naturally as travelling on tarred roads
she rises into the air.
We float over treetops and suburbia,
miniature houses with pinpricks of light
hidden amongst tall trees,
before dropping into a neighbourhood
familiar, only by name.

The streets are deserted, the houses now dark,
an occasional pool of light from a streetlamp
guiding the way.
Deep here, is the silence, and the air of desertion,
as I walk these unknown roads.
And just as I round the corner
my heart sinks when I see my car,
standing askew on the side of the road,
the axle horribly bent.
How did this happen. What will I do.
What will I say. How am I going to fix this.

With shaking hands and shakier knees
I sink into an old, unsteady metal chair
in the backyard of somebody's house.
A nameless old lady with an apron and a headscarf
joins us at the table and while I am trying
to make sense of what happened,
she presents me with photographs,
photographs of flowers. Pictures, she says,
I should show my mother,
for she will surely recognise them as those
she grew in Windhoek.

All this time my stomach is twisted into knots,
knots of fear, apprehension, dread, indecision,
yet I knew I had to take responsibility
for this, which has happened,
though it's the last thing I wanted to do.
How could I possibly right this with my parents?

So intense were the feelings, my muscles so stiff,
they stirred my sleeping body into wakefulness,
and relief flooded through me,
as I slowly, was released, from this dream...







38 comments:

  1. This brought out the very feeling you write of, just in the reading.

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  2. Very intense dream, lots of sights and sounds and feelings, and then what a relief to find it was a dream.

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  3. Wow. What a dream. Not one to be lost in, that's for sure. I'm so glad it was but a dream and not some awful reality.

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  4. The vivid intensity is what i lack in my dreams. Though I would know the bent axle is easily enough fixed.

    Loved it Shadow.

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  5. whew. bet it felt good to wake up...intense...wonder what it all means...

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  6. That doesn't sound like a very fun dream, but it was beautifully written.

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  7. Wonderfully written Shadow. Thank you. Always good to see you again.

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  8. Yes, I have had dreams like this. In my case, I always got up and walked away from it. Never woke up until recently.

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  9. That is quite the dream. very special, life goes by, we do the desert the past. As eerie as the dream feels, it might not be a negative dream.

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  10. Shadow Dancing...
    You dream in Science Fiction?
    Thanks for waking up..
    Welcome back!

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  11. What a wonderful testimony of things that have passed. I can feel the loss in that old house.

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  12. Interesting...I have an interpretation of this for you, but I'll send u an email shortly..we're about due for some tea conversations again :) so put on the kettle heehee.. Hugs to you!

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  13. Not a nightmare...(?) but sweating I bet you were as you woke up

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  14. That's something vich is out of every wrd of appreciation i have...
    touched deepest part of me...
    awesum writing

    cheers :)

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  15. dreaming is one of the best parts of being awake

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  16. Interesting words.

    http://youcanfacetodaybecausehelives.blogspot.com

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  17. powerful...beautiful...eerie...magical...a heroes journey style dream.

    You are such a gifted writer.

    gentle steps

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  18. You should know.. Im in love with your words. dreaming...such an interesting feeling.

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  19. What have you done to me? I have cold sweats now and the desire to sleep and in my sleep come to the rescue... its the knight in shinning armor thingy... this was really good, i mean really...

    breathless...

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  20. the opening lines remind me of a song "Boulevard of Broken Dreams"

    the next few give me the eerie feel of supernatural, the dead, umm the soul wandering to be precise
    and then there is this twist,
    It was a dream, no wonder dreams are beautiful in a mystic fashion. This one was beautiful too.

    :)
    Cheers
    Blasphemous Aesthete

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  21. Wow was there a message you wanted to send to your mum but never did? Hee hee that's my interpretation of the dream :) Bless you

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  22. This is a dream to be happy to wake up from.

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  23. Wonderful, yet scary things dreams can do to us. I've woke myself up screaming before from a dream. They are powerful as your poem well depicts.

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  24. nightmares come on as powerful as reality...

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  25. The nature of phenomena cannot be understood by your eyes.
    Lucretius.

    Nice post,
    merci for your comments.

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  26. Even I feel the strangeness of your dream--though I dream no more, except during daylight hours, awake.

    By not trying to decipher the meanings of my dreams of the past, I have lost the gift--or the 'right'--to 'live' stories in my sleep.

    I love your 'dream' post, V. You put me right into the scene with that old house of times past, the broken axle, the flower photos, and finally your FEELINGS, and the stiffness which made you happily awake!

    I'm SO glad to see you blogging again. You might well create a "Daily Lift" book--grin!!!

    I don't know whether to continue, or take a loooong vacation--like someone I know in Joh....burg?

    PEACE!
    Steve E

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  27. Shadow!!!

    She returns, and sounds like ruff patch for whoever lives in this Southeast of Heaven hood you describe (and even with stranding car troubles she stills delivers poetry with a s-e-cond to none though maybe some equis plus one making me shiver type vibe)

    cheer up, it could be just a caliper that has failed (although it may need to be replaced 3 times)

    it's a magic number

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  28. Very intense and evocative dream. I am sure you found a message in their somewhere that you can bring to your waking life.

    Very rich and vivid, I could see and feel it with you.

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  29. oh how life ,could open up to give fresh start ,to love ,share our lives as we both know and believed it should been ,I been trying get back to you ,

    the days turned to months
    now my heart weeps ,as I can't feel you ,near as always held .

    I am scared

    I never wanted ,you out my life ,Listen to many things ,you speak of me .

    maybe I've loss

    A Truth that beats with my own Heart ,will be

    You
    Two Fools that kept pushing each other away
    Two fools ,that wouldn't pick up a phone ,or talk

    two fools ,with a smile
    Let go

    rest our lives
    those two fools
    will always feel those beats of
    "our hearts "

    wiping away my Tears ,Screaming with my complete Soul to be Heard
    I Love You

    My Dreams ,you will always be ,maybe in life ,couldn't be together ,as I would gave

    was no one that was there to Listen

    Was always there ,to fix me

    Was none that accepted ,after hearing truth

    there was many that was there to Judge

    As ,it must of seemed ,my heart ,felt nothing

    as must seemed things I done ,was heartless

    dreams ,you shall be ,with me that ,holds no judging ,only accepting ,with love ,we always knew

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  30. You are so blessed with your abilities to see and feel so much. Thank you for sharing your gift with us.

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  31. V, could not resist posting a second.
    "Replaced three times!" Funny, from "dirt..." three times I have read this dreamy piece. And each time I get farther away from the meanings or the story, and closer to the sentences, phrases: the one-two-or-three-word turns which DO make me shiver.

    But only because of their creative beauty do I receive goose bumps.

    Shadow, I am so happy you do not post daily. I could not handle such exquisiteness. I shall now stir my sleeping body into wakefulness--and find I WAS reading an offering by Shadow! Are heaven and earth finally moving toward one another?

    Yep, it's me, Peep. ...anonymous--grin!

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