How do you engineer an act of
blind faith and trust
when faith cannot be attested to and
trust is often broken,
how, when you can see the blood,
the fear, the pain flowing from every cell,
shed tears of sadness for missed
days, hours, a childhood,
for the love of parents never
felt,
for the cuts from the ones meant
to protect us,
for the tears swallowed and
blinked away,
trying to be strong, trying to be
brave, faking it, what for?
I’ve only hurt myself, the scars
and bruises my doing,
because everything I did and do,
was and is my choice,
I am the doer, the sayer, the
slayer,
there's an origin to this
misshapen thinking and reacting
but I am the one answerable, and
in my hands lie too
the ability to forgive, to lessen
its importance, lessen its impact,
to open up another way for me to
experience meaning, true love and joy.
