Saturday, April 3, 2021

There is no going back



My heart embraces everything you have sent reeling though me

and my soul sings a song the waking mind cannot comprehend,

which draws me back into myself, where I am silent, empty.

So I look for solace in the shadows of the night

where I can console my breaking self in the forest

that swallows the howls of the wolf streaking through the darkness,

whilst being fed by the light of the silver rays of the full moon,

awakening the wild, wild ways that come naturally and uninhibited,

even as I try to outrun your voice, your words

echoing from the distance, speaking to those parts of you

still alive in me, that keep pulling me back, that keep calling me.

Today I am strong, today I see your falsehoods, your devious ways

cloaked in gilded chains, the desolation of a future with you,

I hear the lies I tell myself to fill the longing, the emptiness,

that takes me to when you ruled, my world, my reason, me.

There is no going back, there is nothing to go back to,

limbo is a permanence, the once most uncomfortable space

now less so, no longer as threatening, no longer impossible.

I’m finding my way, slowly, day by day, this solitude a balm,

allow flow, through me and going along, not yesterday, not tomorrow,

only now, not an easy place to be, short-lived and already gone,

but so peaceful, so calm, so trouble-fee, so alive, so beautiful, so real,

and this is where I wish to be, to stay, always….