Wednesday, September 25, 2019

Blind Faith







How do you engineer an act of blind faith and trust
when faith cannot be attested to and trust is often broken,
how, when you can see the blood, the fear, the pain flowing from every cell,
shed tears of sadness for missed days, hours, a childhood,
for the love of parents never felt,
for the cuts from the ones meant to protect us,
for the tears swallowed and blinked away,
trying to be strong, trying to be brave, faking it, what for?
I’ve only hurt myself, the scars and bruises my doing,
because everything I did and do, was and is my choice,
I am the doer, the sayer, the slayer,
there's an origin to this misshapen thinking and reacting
but I am the one answerable, and in my hands lie too
the ability to forgive, to lessen its importance, lessen its impact,
to open up another way for me to experience meaning, true love and joy.





Friday, September 13, 2019

Friday the 13th






  
This Friday the 13th
I call onto Thee,
all that is good,
let it be! Let it be!

With the Full Moon tonight
dance in silver rays light,
dream a dream of pure gold,
it will be, it’s foretold   🅥





Thursday, September 12, 2019

It rained that day









The skies are crying tears of sorrow,
grey mist enfolds me with a sadness
that’s from deep within my being,
a sense of loss, a sense of mourning,
as spools and spools of memories
dance before my eyes and I see moments
I wish I could touch again, see people
I wish I could hold again, see times
I wish I could re-live again,
and I feel heartache from the loss,
sadness from what could have been,
regret from not doing what I wanted,
for every time I sacrificed my soul.





Wednesday, August 28, 2019

Attachment







Attachment,
attachment to things, to feelings, to people, to places,
attachment, attachment, attachment….
the source of so many discomforts in the self,
attachment to the fire provided by an illicit drug,
to the rush of a love affair, the exhilaration of success,
to the illusion your appearance will change your life,
to the comfort of a predictable day, month, year!#@%,
if only these attachments could dissolve in the moonlight,
freeing the mind from hidden bonds, opening doorways
and highways to unexplored places, where you’re free,
unattached, you’ll be yourself.




Tuesday, August 27, 2019

of Faeries and Goblins








All the time
the faeries are dancing,
in the wind
with joy everlasting,
through the trees
their wishes, enchanting
the ones who can hear their voice.

All the time
the goblins are scheming,
in the dark
their shadow is reaching,
guard your heart
ere bewitched you’re dreaming
a dream that is not your choice.

All the time
your heartbeat is sounding,
to their beat
the life you are making,
do not doubt,
the angels are watching,
tonight you may rejoice.





Saturday, August 24, 2019

Where have the dreams gone?






  
How I long for the days gone by,
to how we were, to the way things were,
summer days when we had little responsibility
and lived for satisfaction,
innocent faith in the world around us,
idealistic visions of who we were and going to be,
dreams, lots of dreams that drove us through days,
many days until the dreams stopped coming every night,
and tired days followed, then the dreaming stopped altogether,
making for long, drawn-out, dreary hours of daylight to get through,
just to escape into an empty void of nothingness, we sleep.
How did I become so disillusioned, so empty, so devoid of feeling,
is it even possible to reclaim solid ground in this quicksand without mercy,
sucking me in, sucking me dry, sucking me down, down, down……
                   




Wednesday, August 14, 2019

I am the darkness








It is cold and unpleasant, another day without sunshine,
my mind a hamster wheel spinning out of control,
I can no longer fool myself into believing everything will be alright
when I can see pieces flying off into shadowed tomorrows,
building a cloud, a dark storm cloud I have no way of avoiding,
with no protection, no defences, no strength left to fight,
I have exhausted every mind trick, every belief, every healer known to me,
yet the circle keeps coming around and points its dirty finger in my face,
‘You are mine, I have claimed you, I will not relinquish my control,
no matter what route you choose, you won’t find relief,
I’m inherent in your being, I’m the space surrounding spaces,
what makes you think you have what it takes to remove me
when I am the darkness and I am you.’


Thursday, July 25, 2019

Into the unknown








Where do you go when your back is against the wall,
when there’s nowhere left to go,
when there is no way out,
when the rough hard concrete bites icy cold
and the world is tinged red with your blood?

There is nothing left, I’m so cold I can no longer feel,
I cannot think, I cannot breathe, I cannot swallow,
the murky mess in my mind now barely a whisper,
I am fading away into a mist of emptiness,
deep into the silent unknown.