Thursday, September 23, 2021

Emotions

 



 I can feel colours, every colour of the rainbow,

I can feel music, pulsing through my veins,

the joy behind the smiles I can see,

the wonder in a little one’s big bright eyes,

the delight of frolicking pups chasing the shadow of a bird,

the pure true awe of the majestic mountains who have my back,

the raw power of the crashing waves rushing in my direction,

just as I crash at times, so hard the impact leaves me without breath,

slams me hard into my seat, keeping me there, pushing me down,

paralysed, without a hint of where to from here,

and even as I curl away to shield my self

with tears of pain, helplessness, pointlessness,

I can and will accept this as long as beauty too, endures.

 

 


Thursday, September 16, 2021

Dream a dream

 




If you could dream a dream within this dream

would you dream yourself young, wild and free

of inhibitions, rules, constraints, reticence,

with a solid faith alive and knowing what is right,

what is wrong, what to follow, what to let go,

free-flowing on exuberance, love and laughter,

dancing to the song sung by your lovers lips

over the flames of the fire burning high,

under stars celebrating the return of goodness

to this plane, freedom and peace reigning supreme,

without leaders, without laws, with respect, with understanding,

so that I may lay claim to the other life that was destined for me.

 

 


Friday, September 3, 2021

Not my Friday night

 




 There’s a rhythm pulsing in my soul

I just can’t quite find the beat

it's alluring, I get lost in it some times

awaken as if from a dream

and it leaves light behind

light and a yearning for… for…

for this nightmare to end

for this battle to start

because this hovering in limbo

is threatening my sanity

tolerance has worn dangerously thin

there is no easy way out of this

no short-cut, no avoiding it

it’s the moments you hear young beautiful people

talking about having ‘done their duty’ and done the double

that sadness overwhelms so intensely tears flow

and it feels like hope is being sucked right out of my lungs

and I am suffocating from this helplessness,

this crippling powerlessness, to divert the end

that is sure to follow……

 

Thursday, August 26, 2021

Now

 





Memories simmer just beneath her face,

seemingly close but they leave before they lace,

eluding her when she gives chase,

the more she grasps the looser their embrace,

consciousness kills all the light and the spark

fades into blackness so deep and oh, so dark,

it’s ending,

live in the light, in the dream that you share,

hopelessly wild, where you’re free, free without care,

it’s ending,

when is the time and where is the place,

there where we’ll stand, when we fully can embrace,

new in this rhythm and new is the sheet,

new are the places and people you'll meet

leave out the yesterdays, leave out the past,

now is all there is to have, all that ever will last.

 



Friday, August 20, 2021

Let it be...

 





The clouds are marshmallow white and in the far, far distance,

a sharp, dark blue line marks the divide between water and air,

the air crystalline in clarity, open as far as your dreams can see,

lush green palms and pines stand majestically tall,

yesterdays rain flowing from deep roots solidly anchored,

through their bark, fronds, needles, reaching into the sky,

emitting their knowing to anyone listening

whilst they sit under their canopy, back against the trunk,

close their eyes and breathe in deeply, the breath of the forest,

let their minds travel to destinations they didn’t know to be alive within them,

become still, perfectly, comfortably still, let the future you see before you, unfold…

 


Friday, August 13, 2021

Create your dream

 




The veneer is wearing off,

false bravado is unravelling,

the effect of this lie is taking its toll.

It’s in the lacklustre eyes,

the downcast heads in the streets,

the silent, oh so silent Friday nights.

 

Close friends have lost loved ones,

to ventilators and heart attacks,

suicides and overdoses,

I now know the owner of the business

that was forced to close,

the folks down the road who’ve lost their home.

 

The world is crying,

I hear the desperate prayers

late into these darkest of nights,

my soul is crying out

to the heavens,

‘Make this stop,

this sadness is too deep,

too intense, too much to endure.’

 

I ask, ‘Give me the tolerance,

the understanding, the love,

the kindness, the faith,

to lift myself into stillness

to find my tribe, so we may share

the peace and joy

in the creation

of our dreams.’

 


Saturday, April 3, 2021

There is no going back

 


 

My heart embraces everything you have sent reeling though me

and my soul sings a song the waking mind cannot comprehend,

which draws me back into myself, where I am silent, empty.

So I look for solace in the shadows of the night

where I can console my breaking self in the forest

that swallows the howls of the wolf streaking through the darkness,

whilst being fed by the light of the silver rays of the full moon,

awakening the wild, wild ways that come naturally and uninhibited,

even as I try to outrun your voice, your words

echoing from the distance, speaking to those parts of you

still alive in me, that keep pulling me back, that keep calling me.

Today I am strong, today I see your falsehoods, your devious ways

cloaked in gilded chains, the desolation of a future with you,

I hear the lies I tell myself to fill the longing, the emptiness,

that takes me to when you ruled, my world, my reason, me.

There is no going back, there is nothing to go back to,

limbo is a permanence, the once most uncomfortable space

now less so, no longer as threatening, no longer impossible.

I’m finding my way, slowly, day by day, this solitude a balm,

allow flow, through me and going along, not yesterday, not tomorrow,

only now, not an easy place to be, short-lived and already gone,

but so peaceful, so calm, so trouble-fee, so alive, so beautiful, so real,

and this is where I wish to be, to stay, always….

 


Tuesday, January 5, 2021

The New (ab)Normal

 




 

Every so often, when this new abnormal becomes unbearable,

I feel the urge to do something familiar, something known, something that used to provide pleasure,

and I head out with my husband or a friend into the mild, sunny day to have scones and tea in a country coffee shop.

 

I try to emulate past behaviours by revisiting old haunts and travelling familiar roads

yet the enjoyment evaporates with every mask I see walking along the road,

with every ‘no mask, no entry’ sign,

with the hesitance of strangers to even engage in conversation with someone they do not know,

 

the sun loses its warmth,

the air becomes thick and unbreathable when I see a child behind a mask,

and the scenic valley only evokes sadness when the comparison between the beauty around us and the evil committed against humanity becomes a stark reminder of the oppression imposed on us,

 

hope dissolves when I think of my 25-year old son who has his life ahead of him,

under what conditions????? under who’s rule????? to what end?????

 

The vaccination is a line I will not cross, I have lived, for that I’m grateful,

our children have not!

 

The unfairness of this all, this dehumanising of humankind,

the subjugation of having to wear a mask that must be endured,

the shutting down of societies ways, relinquishing human contact,

the removal of freedom of movement, freedom of thought, freedom of speech, every freedom you can think of!!!!

 

tears me up inside, because the tunnel is so, so very dark,

resistance is meagre, the fight ahead a vital one, one I hope will come,

 

because I would rather go out fighting than become a slave to a bunch of delusional egomaniacs,

who believe themselves elevated above the rest of humanity and governments,

who are themselves slaves to the $ and to power,

their minds tainted with insanity,

who feel they have the right to mould this plane to their specifications,

who believe themselves to be gods.

 

No, my sadness is inherent, as is my fighting spirit,

and I pray for courage for the day which will surely come

when I will stand face to face with evil,

 

may I be bold enough to speak my truth,

brave enough to stand by my belief

and strong enough to do what is necessary.