the circle of timeless regret

Shrouded in a blanket of silence and mist,

touched by the ice in the air,

my vision is clouded by a light I can’t see,

my hearing is doused by a prayer.

And I follow the brightness towards the masked warmth

of raindrops that hover, then fall,

shattering the circle of timeless regret,

while heeding the waves as they call.

picture: http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs40/f/2009/039/d/c/Lonesome_by_Silverspark14.jpg

Memories that do not exist

I travelled long forgotten miles as I followed the footsteps to my youth, past landscapes revealing faint images of stories and people obscured by time, to a place that doesn’t exist. And through my mind drifts a girl, dreaming, under blue skies and sometimes grey, alone in her backyard or on the beach, while the wind would blow every which way.

Now driving through streets with familiar names, past facades that hint this was once home, a tear starts to form, then roll down my cheeks for nothing is quite what it seems. The fingers of time have touched everything, gone are the faces I knew, gone is the oak tree that marked the edge of my experience, gone is that girl with those dreams.

It’s a sadness hollow, for a youth I can’t reclaim, for a time that is lost in the mist. It wraps round my heart and embraces, constricts, for people who’s touch my soul kissed. Yet a warmth sneaks on through and reclaims the cold tears that have left a trail on my heart, as I feel the memories fold themselves around me, sweet memories that no longer exist…

picture: http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs31/f/2008/193/d/4/Imagine_by_dianar87.jpg

the lost café

“This reminds me of sitting outside the Lost Café after a hot summer’s day on the beach, listening to some jazz, with an ice-cold drink in my hand. Will we ever do that, you think?“

Mesmerized I gazed at the image before me, listening to these dreamy words, and I could feel the condensation from the frosty glass, running from my hand, past my wrist, down my arm, like a glistening vein of ice.

To my shock I felt tears, unexpected and unwanted, flowing from my eyes. Eyes that burnt as if touched by the rays of the glaring sun reflecting off the white sands alongside the smooth Mediterranean waters. Unblinking I stared, immersed in a sadness as endless as the ocean, that streamed round her body as she dove into welcoming azure arms that stroked, caressed and cooled.

And it felt like the fingers that plucked the notes from that soulful guitar were tweaking at the very core of my heart, touching deep corners carefully hidden away, lest they result in tears of regret, tears that flowed right now, for that, which never will be…

picture: http://browse.deviantart.com/?q=white%20beaches&order=9&offset=24#/du0lta

the trickling sand

You entered my world, all shiny and new, unblemished and untouched, with lines that were clear, had a silvery edge, smooth as a silhouette. I treasured your being, I played with you, you gave me thrills intense, that each time I saw you my heart seemed to swell, so strong, I was left without breath.

With the passage of time marked by trickling sand, I spotted a blemish, a scar. Distaste filled my mouth, erasing my smile, all the while disappointment grew. And my thoughts turned to sludge in a mud that was thick with resentment, and anger and shame. I simmered in jealousy, cold and raw, for the ones who were flawless out there.

I tried to protect you and shield you from harm, yet the scratches appeared unseen. And each time I saw you your wounds blinded me, as I looked at these damaged goods. Aggrieved as I was, I let these emotions take hold and transferred them to you. I felt my mind shift as I shut you out, while I used, but did not value you.

‘til there came a day I recounted the tale of how we came to be and there was a rumble, the earth seemed to shift, as awareness new flashed through me. These scars don’t diminish, they do not reduce, the worth that is in you. You are not less than you were before just because you have come through the war... these lines are the marks, that you've loved and lost, of the milestones along your way. I see you now with eyes brand new, and you've grown in value to me.

picture: http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=&section=&q=hourglass#/d125n8w

winter

Dark and long,
bleak and frozen,
empty, barren and bare…

Feel, as it overwhelms,
sinks through the air,
to your skin and down to your soul.
Feel, as it drains from you
your will to move,
you’re absorbed in the landscape, white.
Feel, as your mind clears
and thoughts turn to wisps
of a mist that is snagged by the breeze.
Feel, as you merge
with this silence that is,
the time of rest is here…


picture: http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2009/364/7/5/Into_the_White_by_meppol.jpg