What is the purpose behind this thing called Life

From where hails this hopelessness,

this purposelessness that’s surrounds me,

the futility fettered to every action, plan and deed?

There has to be something more than merely passing through each beautiful day,

embracing every luxury and beauty available in this sanctuary we have created,

enjoying the privileges and abundance with which we’ve been graced,

in accordance to a belief sculpted by time.

A belief favouring the instinctive, the things which move something inside, the goodness that is to be found in each moment, and many such moments freely and spontaneously present themselves in your every wakened hours,

and I heed these things, I note all the gifts before me, I stop, look deeply, breathe in the variety of scents in the air, feel the tickle of the wind in my hair, the heat of the sun on my skin, the soulful eyes of the creatures in my care, the love of a fellow human being,

yet I cannot shake the gloom disturbing my rhythm, causing me to stumble over level ground,

wielding old dissatisfactions which my belief no longer supports, ties my tongue when words should flow easily, plays tricks with the shadows presenting threats that don’t exist, facts quite clearly fake, and images aimed at incinerate my sanity…

from whence does this darkness stem,

what’s the purpose behind this eternal night,

could someone tell me please the reason behind this all……