Through the Looking Glass

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I have tried but I can’t look past the blatant disparities I see passing before my eyes, the disjointed assembly of like-minded(?) souls intent on a self-defeating journey to obliteration and oblivion of themselves and my world.

 I have tried to flout failing laws designed to direct your thoughts and songs into the arms of another’s god, an entity of fearsome might and darkness who will lead you to nothing but isolation and desolation.

 I walk the hallways at 3am guided by touch and faith in the ground on which I tread with my bare feet, my mind filled with the essence of stillness, feel these waves rolling through me, I see dreams beyond your doubts, the way past your every why, a clarity revived by the breath of night carries me into dawns light with a smile to brighten, words to enlighten, I know, I just know! there is something better out there for us.

...so many things!!!

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There are so many things running through my head; things to start, to end, to practice, to plan, to let go, to experience, to grasp, to anticipate, to groan at, to dislike, to love, to deny, to admit, to fulfil, to turn away from, to confront, to reach out to, to touch, to feel, to own, to be……

There are no Boundaries

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It is my fear I feel

my tears which flow

burn through my vision

tear through me……

 precisely because it is my fear

paves as just this direction

 I accept your pain

being burnt by your fire

cut by your knife

the toxins you release through me

 your destruction will set me free

allow me to transcend these boundaries

not meant for me to observe.

......some more Things I Wonder About

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You say you don’t want to change me,

you ask me to modulate my voice,

you affirm acceptance of who I am,

you reflect displeasure at my exuberance,

you claim immunity to the judgments of others,

you push me away with ‘there’s a time and place for everything’,

you express forgiveness for all my sins,

you silence me with the charge of living in the past.

Things I Wonder About

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I still wonder what made her hesitate that day,

the thought processes at play in her mind,

why did she stare at the billowing curtains

was if reading a message unseen to all eyes but hers,

was she deliberating her decision,

playing through each possible outcome,

were they all the same or was one separate,

was the tremor in her hands well-placed excitement,

or did she hesitate that day out of fear?

My Season

 

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The once innocent in me

didn’t know I’d lost the key

in an emptiness that seeked

highs and lows that dove and peeked,

I was led into a prison,

choices made, I didn’t listen,

didn’t understand the frisson,

couldn’t see what I was given.

But the answers live in me,

understands this misery,

shed my tears so I could be,

I accept what I now see,

with love, so has been written,

give yourself to fill what’s missing,

what I see is not illusion,

it is meant, it is my season.

The Delicate Equilibrium

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The battle within me has never ceased,

my wounds lash out, the innocents receive,

tempting demons I know can destroy my heart,

live the lies on my skin, carved by you in the dark.

I’ve seen the truth when freed from your lies,

felt laughter as it flew, changed light dark skies,

lived my dream, it may seem, were it not the truth,

side-by-side, pain and pleasure, within, they me rule.

In the Fog of Absent Minds

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hidden pathways overgrown in the fog of absent minds

forgotten ways to a hallowed space sealed in by secret’s kiss

bound to the other’s presence, locked into intimacy

burned for, patiently waited for, to finally be fulfilled.