Be Careful, my child

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Be careful my child,

be careful whom you share your secrets with,

in word and in flesh.

In fact, don’t make secrets,

the kind that haunt you, never leave you,

of your deepest regret in life,

where admitting it is lethal,

where living with it destroys your soul.

I Fall

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The sword has dropped,

the cut is deep.

I bleed from ancient scars

and from deep regrets,

I feel, but cannot feel.

I am tired,

so very, very tired,

I disperse with a breath

into darkness’ dreams.

My fancy wants me......

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......to sit at a curb at midnight, in my high heels and smoke a cigarette,

lie naked at the edge of a quiet, deserted lake in the sunshine,

climb aboard a train in Europe without knowing its destination.

......to chase the sunset in my sports car with the top down,

splash through puddles after a summer storm,

ride a mountain shoreline on a motorbike,

and spend a few days on a yacht that is anchored at sea.

I want to watch the stars at 2am and sleep until I wake,

have a room in an attic, to write in on rainy days,

dance barefoot to Led Zeppelin on Persian carpets,

and play my drums until I sweat.

I’d like to have croissants and coffee on a terrace balcony in Paris,

buy an airline ticket online and leave without a note,

and most all I’d like to lie on a beach, forever in your arms.

Darkness, my old friend

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I no longer see the sunshine,

I am drifting towards the stormy sea,

swallow me in your outburst,

let me sink into this ocean of black,

let it eat me up from the inside and out,

tie me up with your sharpest bonds

so that I can bleed, bleed, bleed....

until I am but an empty shell.

Then feed my soul to the hovering demons

that I may emerge from this hell

to walk the earth and live my last days

indulging in every darkness I have ever imagined.

who i was

picture credit: http://www.deviantart.com/art/Memories-102427228

i not only miss the people and the places,

but i also miss who i was,

at that time...