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| picture source: https://za.pinterest.com/pin/375909900128771139/ |
The void was in me before I took the first drop of poison
promising to relieve it all
The pain of denial, pretense, of
living a lie enforced by the fear of abandonment, when abandonment would in all
likelihood have set me free
The cold in the space where love
should’ve been, the twisted ways I chose to love and be loved
The methodical approach to finding,
then experiencing it all, everything, at least once
The knowing I’m holding a loaded
gun to my head yet continue, dauntlessly challenging the universe
The moments I desperately long to
have back, the time I have wasted wallowing and believing everything ever said
to me, instead of believing my intuition, what I know to be my purpose
The knowing I am more, more than
I’ve been told I can, more than what I have, more than you, a knowledge without
language no words can explain, which roar through the silence, how can everyone
not hear them?
I am empty, cold, have only me to
offer, I give up, surrender, do with me what you wish, I can no longer feel the
pain you’re (sub)consciously inflicting on me. I’m filled with sorrow, for the
lost hours and friendships, wasted conversations and pointless exploits, the
only echo left, the sighs of dying embers
Into a million indiscernible
particles I am scattered, and the silence of the void is filled with acceptance
and love, patience and belief, tolerance and indulgence, rebuilt into someone
who looks like me, but who’s outgrown all and every power ever wielded over me,
feel me if you dare to feel the light
Wow, Shadow. Love this one. Poignant, eerie, honest.
ReplyDelete... but dying embers mean Hope, so let's gather some kindling and get this fire going again ... yes, friend Shadow? Love, cat.
ReplyDeleteSuch a sad place to be...
ReplyDelete" feel me if you dare to feel the light" - ,,,and there is the next step
ReplyDeleteGlad the 'phoenix' is rising ~ we all need to do that in life at some point or points ~ not easy ~ creative photo ~ ^_^
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting my blog ~ ^_^
knowledge, roaring through the silence!! Girl....get a book published. You're too good to waste your talent. I'll be the first to buy one of your works. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteNow, 'bout that ice cream? Where do we meet?
Surrender is the first step to freedom. The prison of our mind would tell us there is no future just more of the same. When it is these very thoughts that keep us imprisoned. Even hope is a thought for the future and can keep us stuck waiting for magic. When life is here today right now.
ReplyDelete