When did her life begin

 

 

 

When did her life begin…

 

….with the shy, little blonde girl in photos

captured of moments she cannot recall,

 

with the confused teen, who didn’t belong,

who tried to fit herself into friendships that didn’t resonate,

and situations she did not understand?

 

 with the young woman in a grown-up world

who built her worth on the compliments of people

and achievements valued by society,

yet left her alone and lost in the dark of night,

 

with being a first-time mother of a son

who awoke an overwhelming feeling to protect him

against every pain, guilt and shame she had ever felt,

 

with the tormented, sinking soul,

who numbed every feeling and emotion,

hoping for the rewards and happiness

promised by the teachings of this world,

 

with the suffering and tortured being

who searched behind every closed door of her mind,

reliving every painful memory over and over again

in a seemingly endless spiraling staircase without light?

 

….with the tentative woman

who finally felt solid ground underfoot,

alone in the wilderness, naked, bare, jaded and dented,

 

who smiled her first smile with a head of silver hair,

standing on green, fertile farmlands,

living by her inner knowing and her spoken truths,

accepting of the gifts the universe bestowed on her,

with the confidence granted only by the passage of time?

 

When did her life begin?