Thursday, November 22, 2012

In the Urban Desert

picture credit:

How can anyone be empty in a spot so filled with people?
How can anyone not see me in this place with million eyes?
Have the gods me now deserted in a broadcast of white noise,
have they taken all the air, as my footstep slowly dies?

…… I halt before the emptiness as distance leaves despair,
cold the grip I feel inside, of nothing I’m aware,
I’m but another hollow sound that’s trudging down the road,
disinterest echoes all around as hopelessness enshrouds.


  1. Dear Shadow.
    I have been there (of where you write)
    only too much. Even yet after years of "getting better" a moment like that will sneak by my unawareness.

    How wonderful to write of such, when experiencing it all is mostly in the past.

    The question you ask at first, then answer with hopelessness, ohhhhh!

    I wonder that "Trudging UP the road" to happy destiny could be another response, the one I experience today!

    Your thoughts, poetry, word construction are especially timely for humanity, if not revealing of you. Ma'am, you are on a roll, so full of creativity these days--and I am loving to read each one. Thank you.

  2. Zombieland?
    That's how i feel whenever in a crowd. And now twinkies are extinct.
    It just gets worser

    1. worserer and worserer i say... here those guys are called tinkies, i wonder if they too will disappear.

  3. ugh...crowded loneliness...the more 'connected' we are the lesser the connection...disinterested - sadly most seem more interested in themselves than anything else...

  4. Yeah Shadow I get that. being either A) hitchhiking or B) in a large crowd are the two ways I have discovered to become totally invisible. That hollow empty feeling is just that, a feeling. We are different but I once a long time ago learned to embrace the invisibility. Now I am too fat to be fully formless but I can always lose weight if the crowds become to tedious. You want something else, I don't think it is recognition, as much as it is validation but then I am not you; but the hopelessness, two weeks ago we could have been the same person. This will pass and you will find and remember how stupid and funny it all is rolled up into one great pit of mud to dance in. Of that I have no doubt.

    1. i used to think it was recognition, but when i found it, i didn't like it, so validation sounds and feels good to me too, although i haven't quite found the right words yet...

    2. Hm, yes, emptiness is odd in a place that appears full. Fullness internally may be about contentedness which seems to ebb and flow. I wonder how often those of us who appear full are actually aware of a haunting sense of emptiness. It may be the curse of being a writer. A keen awareness of humanity most of the time.

  5. Recognition, validation, connection. Not long ago in california, I was in a restaurant and noticed a couple at the next table. They weren't talking to each other; they were texting and tinkering with their smart phones.

  6. This is kind of lonely sounding.Yet your far from empty,my friend.
    You are likely fuller than you can see for yourself.Keep writing.
    You are gifted.
    Tab xo

  7. its interesting never being sure of how well feel. My memory isnt so good and that is both a help and a hindrence but more of a help I think. :)

  8. So true. Amazing poetry. hoping to come across more from you.

  9. This is what I have felt most my life. In a crowd and lonely. People seeing past me. Hugs to you my dear.

  10. I am interested in so much that I have to restrain myself from branching out into all kinds of things. Maybe there is a kind of ennui among people, but I try to be around those who are interesting and interested.

  11. I've never lived in a big city (near one yes, in one no), but this is what I imagine it could be like. (This, and the old Quarterflash song "Welcome to the City", too.)

  12. your poem is making me cry. i've been in this place. thank you for articulating the emotions so well.

  13. Re-reading:

    " hopelessness enshrouds..." PROFOUND, V-Girl! Very few peeps can I afford the time to read AGAIN--a month later. Just love your work, the honesty, and the Universal application to most Peeps.
    Thank you...............