Monday, March 17, 2014

Disillusioned






I feel a little hurt by life that’s let me down,
the rhymes so well rehearsed, have left a perfect frown,
as what long told should be, in life is never timed,
a dream of fantasy that falters ere it dies.

I once believed in love, in happy families,
a life to be proud of, a seamless unity,
yet that which I have chased is not quite as it seems,
a glittering showcase, that’s captured, not set free.

A heart that’s dipped in stone, a smile that’s mostly fake,
a random off-beat note that sings my life’s mistakes, 
now want me to let go this man into the world,
where truth is but a show and trust a long-dead slur.




Sunday, March 2, 2014

The Voices in my Head




picture source: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/375909900118066560/




They’re in my head, they won’t get out,
circling and churning my hist’ry they shout,
there is no silence, there is no reprieve,
the truth is splintered, my today deceived.

I cannot escape their angry torment,
there is no defense to their bitter dissent,
driving each thought with the crap of a whip,
on sanity’s grasp I’m losing my grip.

I pray for the darkness to take me alive,
the little that’s good I now shun and revile,
for silence eternal my voice has stole,
gone all the hope that is left in my soul.




Saturday, March 1, 2014

Broken



picture credit: unknown


I cry for the little girl standing at the gate, tears streaming down her cheeks because she didn’t know why she was left at home alone with her brother.  And I cry for the 10-year with the mussed up ponytail, who sat with her father on the backstairs of the garage, begging him to stay, to not leave her, while looking into his bleary eyes.

...my heart aches for the solitary teen, who wandered alone through the busy school halls with a scowl of indifference to keep people away, all the while building an insurmountable wall under the guise of disregard and rebellion...

I cry for the young woman who mistook attention for caring, placed acknowledgement before intent, was so desperate for love that she willingly consented to harmful things, ‘til the need to lose her feelings led to chosen medications just to numb the screaming voices of her sadness and her pain.

...and my heart bleeds for the woman whose tears greet her every morning, as the thought of another day plunges her into deep despair...




Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Forever Lost




picture credit: http://www.deviantart.com/art/Abandoned-Snake-Bridge-I-127340365


We’re on the 2nd floor in a house of unknown ownership, lounging on pillows laying on the floor against a long, bare white wall; a wall that is chipped and marked, a carpet of indeterminate shades.  On either side of this open space, moody grey skies slowly succumb to the darkness of the night through big steel-framed windows.  Streaky white curtains billow listlessly in the breeze, blowing the passing minutes into a lost and far-away land.  Every now and again strangers drift up the staircase, lean against the banister, maybe a quick nod in our direction, more often than not, eyes downcast and intent on their pursuit.  Here we spend endless hours in the numbing haze of fragrant smoke, seekers of a common distraction, a wordless companionship of inane conversations and missing moments.

An hour passed, or it could have been a day, for time doesn’t live in this house.  Stay forever we could not, and soon we found ourselves walking deserted, nameless streets in a comfortable stillness as the first rays of sunlight played warmly on our backs.  The take-away coffee and toasted sandwich could have been a lavish meal from a royal banquet in this fresh and silent dawn.  And still we kept on walking.  ‘Till the twittering birds were pushed into the distance by the sound of rushing water from somewhere to the north. 

It seemed like a good idea to head that way, maybe find a way closer to the river bank and just sit and watch for a while…  We found the disused road that led us to an old arch bridge where grass and weeds have broken through the old cement surface.  But it was solid, and it had a stone railing alongside the pedestrian walkway, aged and weathered and covered in moss in places.  Surefooted and with lightness of step you playfully leapt on this low railing, turned and grinned at me, while you took in the elevated view.  With an exaggerated bow and extended hand you turned my way again, but your foot found the moss, and your footing was lost, and you disappeared towards a foreign below.  Time flashed by as I raced to the spot where your ghost still stood, confusion on your face, staring down at the cement slabs of the riverbed below, where your body lay inert and lifeless.

It was over before it began, before help arrived, and chaos replaced the peaceful kiss of dawn.  I stood there long after a stunned silence returned to this abandoned bridge.  Your ghost and I.  Unable to comprehend, unwilling to accept, incapable of letting go.  And we left hand in hand, a wordless companionship in the reluctant silence, away from this place of dismay.



Friday, January 31, 2014

Leave me to dream



 


A sense of oppression as the first breath of dawn,
filters  through dreams wherein deeply I’m drawn,
content in designs the subconscious explained,
daybreak now heralds reality’s chains.

The veil that the night casts on stones to deflect,
cracks and dark stains so your soul can connect,
with the tendrils the angels your road with have lined,
home to the place they for you have designed.




Wednesday, January 22, 2014

I'm Fine

 
picture source: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/375909900117591873/

“I’m fine”, but I’m slowly drowning
in the vast ocean of pretense
that stretches never-ending.
Every motion further crumbles
off a little piece of life,
lost to the darkness
that spreads like a fire escaping
the howling winds of pain,
driving insanity
to the roaring crescendo
of a soul that’s ever dying.


Monday, January 6, 2014

What is mine


What is mine, when everything I own
is in my possession for but a fleeting moment;

where do I belong, when everyone I meet
is but a transient stranger in an all-night diner called ‘life’;

and what do I leave behind but my footsteps,
eroded all too soon by the cold north wind that blows
on a lost and forgotten strand...




Monday, December 30, 2013

When the leaves know your secrets...


picture source: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/574420127442193768/


 She followed the trail
through a path of lush ferns,
deep, into the deepest forest.
Here the overcast skies cast a silvery light,
and the mist hung like a draped furry coat
from the drooping and scented pine needles.
She felt an entrenched peace,
felt only in utter solitude,
sink into her, through her...
...the barriers of concealment habitually locked into place
dissolved as she breathed in the sweetened air
of raindrops and moss,
and she smiled a contented smile of relief
as if the leaves on the trees knew all her secrets
and tranquility settled in her soul like butterflies...