Friday, November 20, 2009

55 - this is goodbye




the party has come to spectacular end
every last word irrevocably penned
the final chord wrung from the broken guitar
shattered the dreams in a threadbare boudoir

and the crumbs that remain a painful eyesore
of glittering times before the outpour
as emptiness fills the once loving space
time from the memories yourself to unlace






i originally titled this 'memories unlaced' but i think it misleads from its intended meaning... thus i've renamed it...


every friday, compose a short story of 55 words - no more, no less. if you want to join in the fun and games and give it a try...post your story and report to the boss G-Man



54 comments:

  1. When I am sharing my healing touch, I am usually praying in one form or another. Sometimes I am also seeing the top of my head open and God's power flowing in. I think something similar happens every time you sit down to write a poem.
    (Seems a little funny that this thought hit me pretty quickly after reading this.)

    And BTW - I love this 55.
    PG

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  2. ouch!
    shadow I'm so sorry I just completely misread your poem. My comment was not sarcastic.

    Just excited to see a post (they're not as frequent as yesterday)

    anyway I think my eyes played tricks on me and read the 'unlaced' word first 'fogging up my view of the rest of the words. I think I saw a duality of you letting go of bad memories and 'unlacing'
    so if that first comment seemed cold here is my crazy thought process that spilled it.
    I'm glad you have to first approve comments

    hint hint :)

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  3. You're just awesome, Shadow! This is DreamDancer, aka Roxy. I had to move my blog... please come join me at my new place, I look forward to seeing you there :)

    http://virtualwomanofessence.blogspot.com/

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  4. Such a poetic flow. Thank you Shadow. Blessings....

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  5. The damn corset of memory becomes to tight. Aye unlace the thing and breathe right and proper. Love this one Shadow.

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  6. Woman this is difficult to understand. How many people admit yours are the best and only so deep in with a choice of words that it's hard at times to discern. But that is what poetry is all about Damn!
    Another party is over
    And am left cold sober
    Another day is gone
    Another about to start
    And that's it

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  7. This is from the heart. I want to sticky beak more into the world of the lady who wrote this and the story behind it. I wonder. I wonder.

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  8. Whoa...it's like entering an empty room that is filled with echoes of deep, dark, secrets.

    My 55 is Winter's Rime today...scroll below my show n tell to read. Click Here

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  9. I think either title would have been just perfect ~ though perhaps the one you selected tells the story before it's unlaced.

    So well done Shadow, as always. You have a knack with word choice and flow. Just beautiful.

    Mine is up:

    Friday Flash 55 ~ The Boy on The Metro

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  10. i loved Shadow . every friday you put sparklings inspirations in me .
    bad , bad girl .
    all my kisses for you now .
    have a delightfull weekend .

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  11. Painful eyesore..
    These words definitely suit me right now.

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  12. So lovely, and yes, the letting go, the saying of goodbye comes when we are ready...oh, but look out! when we finally are!

    I love the title! both, actually...

    Have a beautiful weekend, dear Shadow~
    Calli

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  13. As always a very good 55. Words are your medium.jeNN

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  14. This reminds me of many 'mornings after'. I would sit and try to unlace "what the heck happened here last night!" Your words make it sound glamerous. :o)

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  15. I am with PG on this one, you channel an amazing Muse....one that must fill you and one that definitely fills us!!! Thank you!
    Love
    g

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  16. Great, the guitar strings and crumbs on the floor, my life!

    Flash 55, Too!

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  17. Ouch..good byes always sting..but you put it beautifully.

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  18. Some posts you read....others you feel. Definately on of the best, as Galen would say..."You rock!"

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  19. well, this is certainly gem-like with its opulent sounds and rhythm. a veritable necklace of words. bravo!

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  20. hey! Hun You shouldn'yt have done that... It's MY problem... But thanks for this. You are a love!

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  21. i cant stand goodbyes shadow, but yours is rather beautiful...great 55! hope you have a wonderful weekend. smiles.

    mine is up!

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  22. Shadow- that last line is real brilliance. emptiness cannot fill the void for long. something either good or bad will race to claim it. That's the danger. So much in 55! ~rick

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  23. I like the guitar part of your work and the picture with the rose gives an illusion of a scale. Rocks on one side a rose on the other.

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  24. I really like this Shadow, but for a minute, I was afraid you were really saying goodbye! Very happy you are sticking around.

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  25. So vivd and full of emotion. I love the way you write. 55's are a fun challenge.

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  26. I like to think that you are the happiest person inside your soul...your poetry is often so sad and mournful...
    Sandi

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  27. I love the line about the broken guitar. So perfect!

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  28. Goodbyes are always painful..
    Shadow Dancings poetry is always spectacular!
    Beautiful 55 My Dear..
    You are a Treasure...Thanks
    Have a Restful Week-End...G

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  29. Sad when things end and it is permanent. Hopeful though to cleanse and move on.

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  30. I'm with Tall Kay, this reminds me of empty mornings trying to reconstruct what the hell happened to that romantic evening. Love the first stanza.
    Come by my place for a giggle of a 55.

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  31. only you could put it so eloquently

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  32. Whoa, you are talented! LOVE the poem. And I thought I was a poet, lol.

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  33. Wow, Shadow! This one is so amazing! You've done it yet again. How does one woman have so much creativity and beauty inside her???? You are a true gift!
    The picture is also incredible...just so perfect!
    Love You,
    Kelly

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  34. Your 55's always blow my mind, Shadow. Every single time...

    Nevine

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  35. Hey Shadow, I'm always amazed about how you can do the 55 thing and produce a lovely poem with a rhyming scheme and everything. Those seem like too many challenges to me!

    Ah - moving on from places which hold good memories, very difficult. Although essential, because the people, the occasions have moved on, so the place will no longer hold that magic any more.

    I think as we go through our lives these times of melancholy after the good times only seem to get heavier. I'm hoping it's more of a circle than a downward slope though!

    Thanks for your faithful visits to my blog - sorry I'm not better at returning the favour!

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  36. Oh Shadow, this one is so poignant. It reminds me of a song called Where Do You Start?

    Where do you start?

    To separate the present from the past?

    To sort out all the things you thought would last,

    That didn't last...?

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  37. Stunningly brilliant! There's sadness but hope in the end that all things heal with time. Awesome piece!

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  38. That is fascinating and beautiful. Ay first I thought it meant you were leaving us! Glad you're not. I added you to my blogroll today, so I could be closer to you, and my readers could visit too!

    Thank You, Secretia

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  39. Wow beautiful and meaningful poem which no one can rebut its truth. Thanks for sharing Shadow.

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  40. Me again, Shadow, this has an edge I have not seen in my new arrival to this scene. WOW. I know you can write, but on first touch when my AM eyes were not open, I missed your angst.... whew, are you ok?

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  41. Fabulous . . every word a veritable gem!!

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  42. Happy to read you back dear shadow, I liked this one, but my brain is yet not fully functioning )I am not going to lie, I even thought you wrote eeyeore (like the character of winnie the pooh), instead of eye.. Anyway I wanted to say hi and start communicating again.
    Take care dude

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  43. So reliably consistent. Always an enjoyable visit.

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  44. Predictably powerful - that is a statement about your poems in general. Always surprising in language, always with a good flow, and a powerful denouement.

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  45. Everyone seems to be talking about letting go. I saw it as a death of a loved one and I wondered why to unlace from the memories? Relax the hold, to be sure, but I think I'd not want to completely unlace.

    I don't usually read comments but I did really enjoy the walking man's.

    xo
    erin

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  46. Your words always enchant and the meaning becomes profound. (Hugs)Indigo

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  47. this photo just grabbed my heart...and the words...wow !

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