picture credit: http://www.deviantart.com/art/Shredded-197969750
How can she tell him that it’s over, when the reason is so vague, perplexing and bizarre, that when verbalised is not easily understood, nor does it make much sense.
They were drawn by a mutual pain, to escape their youth, and they managed to suppress that pain by drawing on each other. The scales tipped this way, then tipped that way, ‘til the stronger one touched the ground. He provided, he was her love, and his love for her was shown with gifts and the freedom he let her have.
She fell in with the scales hanging high above the ground, lived in that which for them he created, and over time she built a world in her mind, with her subconscious vision, a place where it was she who ruled the kingdom. Yet around the hidden corners of her mind were the closed drawers of her past, those which had started to murmur their dissent at being shut out for so long, getting louder and louder, tirelessly whispering, they wanted to be heard.
Thus she medicated her sins by heedlessly chasing every adrenalin rush she could find. The skies weren't high enough, the speed not fast enough, the risk never great enough to silence those voices. ‘Til chemicals found their way into her blood stream, and she liked how they felt, so she let them stay since at last she found the silent void she’d been seeking all along.
Then the moment of upheaval, when realisation pierced her senses, and the scars demanded answers… she was ready to face their guilt, accusations and disdain, she was ready to feel the pain for the first time without her self-prescribed drugs. 7 years of hell she lived in, a roller-coaster that threatened to unbalance her, whilst the silent attacks kept coming, unwanted and unexpected, and she withdrew into a silent space, without people, without hope.
‘Twas the last drawer that was holding her fast, the fear of dying too immense. Hope was running thin the day when the power of eternity crept into her soul and showed her that we’re all only here long enough to touch so many people, and when the line is at an end, that is the time to leave this realm. Don’t dwell on it, it will surely come, but ‘til then, “Please live”, said the spirit, “please, live”.
That is when she felt the walls of the castle shrink, the bonds of her life now cutting into her skin. She needed to live in a world that she created, without stings to hold her back, on a scale that is balanced, for she’s found the answers that she was seeking.
So how can she tell him that it’s over, with this reason so vague, perplexing and bizarre, and now that you have heard it, may not make much sense to you either...